Sunday, November 8, 2009

nano time...

NANOWRIMO IS UPON US!!! writing buddy me: Livie23!!!! O.o (and again im apologizing for my crappy long-absences from blogger!)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Back in studyhall, everything is crazier than usual. tonight is 'Parents Night' at my school, and I'm trying to distract my parents with as much news as possible to make them forget to go to it! Good news, Bad news, it doesn't even matter to me that much anymore, just that they wont remember to come to my classes and actually meet my teachers. I hate parents night, so i started talking to them about my jam packed weekend:

Saturday: I'm planning to go to this big softball tournament out on Long Island because my friend's team is short of players and i said i might be able to be an extra. then I'm goin to see zombieland for the second time with my best friend, who hasn't seen it yet, and then i have to go to this little family gathering because some of my step-mom's freaky aunts are going to Ireland and we're having a little 'party' for them

Sunday: honestly, just band practice and homework, but that takes up ALOT of time :)

ALSO, thank god my mom is leaving for her annual business trip because she just figured out why i avoid the topic of homework: ESSAYS. i have about three of them overdue and my grade is steadily declining... i just cant write an essay worth ANYTHING... its DEPRESSING because i can do NaNoWriMo, and blog, but i cant write a 2 page, double spaced essay... :/

IN OTHER NEWS: there was SUPPOSED to be a pep rally today, but it poured, so I'm having an equally fun time watching: the cheerleaders complain about how much time it took them to do their makeup or whatever, the football people groaning because they don't get to appreciate the cheerleader's slutty performance, and most importantly: EARLY DISMISSAL :D

The football team which is undefeated, plays it's undefeated rival today, so that should be an interesting game. it doesn't start until 11, SO, ill probably be tired as hell tomorrow when i wake up at 7... I have a FH game against OUR rival team today. we are going to get our asses kicked just like last year......

I must go and get started on my TON of homework now that studyhall is almost over :)


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Ive been reduced to study hall posting, which sounds like a bad thing, but actually, this ought to keep me posting regularly for a long time :) I'm feeling much better today, thank god

Our school has new arrivals! The German exchange student plan has activated yet again, and we have 16 new students for the next couple of weeks! (I'm still trying to figure out who they exchanged with, because as far as i can tell, all of the Juniors are still here, but i don't know all the seniors) We have, Lara who comes to field hockey practice with me because her host family is the Junior goalie's, and Billie, who is in my Photo class.

Speaking of FH, the other team chickened out yesterday, so i really did stay in class for absolutely nothing!!! i was pretty mad about that, because i could have gone home after 4th period, but insisted on staying for the game. :/

I wore the most outrageous thing coming home from practice yesterday: cleats and black shin guards under gray sweatpants. a black t-shirt with a fancy silk blouse over it with all the buttons undone, my hair hanging in a messy pony-tail with a little streak of sun-highlighted hair blowing in front of my neon-green rimmed aviators every three seconds. my mom had a fit, but in my opinion i looked awesome, and i plan on wearing that for picture day :)

My brothers are apparently having a contest: WHO CAN ANNOY LIV MORE? they're pretty tied... Nick loaded a virus onto my computer that almost wiped my hard drive, and Gabe is throwing wild, rampaging fits every other second!! I'm working on a way to get back at them now, i believe i saw an extra air-horn in the field hockey closet?? (evil grin)

i realize i forgot to end my post the newer way this time, but i really don't remember exactly how that is... oh well. it was worth a shot.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sick Days

As the year continues, it brings with it it's problems.

Problem #1: My Health
So far this year, I've already taken 3 sick-days from school for a cold/headache, and according to my sports doctor, I'm extremely lucky to have not broken my leg during the last few days of preseason. right now, i should be home sleeping and having some soup, but instead, because further sick days will require a doctors note, my head is pounding, I'm nauseous and, I'm in school.

Problem #2: My schoolwork/Homework
It's early on in the year but already the laziness of the fourth term is settling in me. when i was out, i neglected to do any of the assignments my friends gave me from class, so here i am in first period study-hall blogging away instead of actually doing my work.

Problem #3: my practicing habits
I don't practice regularly. at all. for music? ill practice whenever i can remember. when working out, ill only practice when one of my friends is there pushing me. the only practicing i do regularly is for sports because it's required...

and getting that off my chest, i can move on to better things...

today we have a game in field hockey, though i doubt ill be able to play. everyone tells me that they need me there, but they just want me there to make them look better. as long as we're not playing some rival school, I'm leaving at lunchtime. the freshie goalie can take it.

currently, my wardrobe is a disaster area. my dad thought it'd be a nice gesture to clean my closet, and i only realized this morning when i shed the sweats and t-shirt i usually wear when I'm sick to something more suitable for classes. i refuse to look like crap in school. anyway, apparently, he moves half my clothes to my brothers closet because 1- my closet is WAY overstuffed, and 2- he doesn't use his; SO i spent about half an hour frantically throwing clothes around my room looking for this one shirt.....

FINALLY. the NyQuil is kicking in; my mom discovered it in the medicine cabinet, and i discovered its mildly alcoholic, so I'm hiding my eyes behind $5 green-rimmed aviators from Canal street.

well, that's the pathetic, short update on my life right now, and ill probably post more tomorrow. it sounds like ill be home again.


Monday, September 7, 2009

after multiple vacations, i am alive and well. well sort of...

Preseason has started up, aka HELL ON EARTH. i swear, if you can survive preseason, you shall be in the best shape of the year, unless youre me. I got through the first week, and most of the second week before getting hurt. (Which is a new record!) i managed to survive the 'peak' days, as i like to call them, when the coaches push limits, and kids are likely to pass out. our peak this year was 3 miles and 100 yard sprints. i pulled through that. the day AFTER, we ran 2 1/2 miles, and on my 8th lap, my leg collapsed under me. after that it felt like i was getting stabbed in the front of the shin with every jogging step i took. i still managed to run the mile and a half the day after that because i didnt want to be benched. the day after that i could barely walk. its been getting progressively worse, and has now affected the other leg as well. my x-rays came back clean, through the doctors think its a stress fracture more than shin splints. i hope theyre wrong... i go for an MRI next weekk, and i can update you on that, but for now, im riding bench for a while...

i have not completed ONE thing i was assigned to do over the summer for classes. not one. my procrastination has reached critical levels, and it must be dealt with soon because school for me starts on the 10th... it should be pretty easy, i mean, 500 word summaries? PLEASE. for those of you who know this, i did NaNoWriMo last year, and i can clear 30000 words a day. (on a GOOD day, on bad day more like 7000, but still) so it should be a snap. damn.... there i go again telling myself i can do it in no time, and pushing it off again!!!

My mom, is currently flipping shit. some of you may remember my bassist friend? well, instead of me crashing on his couch as usual (i occasionally stay over when we're u watching movies until 130), he insisted on crashing on MY floor. my mother was unaware that i stay over at his house semi-regularly, and just had a mini meltdown when she found him asleep in my room... not one of my smartet ideas. if she doesnt throw something at him when he wakes up and leaves, im pretty sure we'll have to meet somewhere OUTSIDE my city from now on.

Went to a Killers concert at PNC bank arts theater in NJ on wednesday! it was my best friend's birthday present, and we screamed out lungs out for 4 hours. completely epic. the opened with are we dancers and encored with when we were young. just thought id add that since it was so amazingly awesome :)

warming up my vocabulary and writing skills for NaNoWriMo again this month. Im FINISHING it this year if it kills me! :) thats about it for now...

song: wake me up when september ends - Green Day
mood: electrified
inspirational quote: "It's not about who youve known the longest, it's who came and never left your side" - unknown
funny quote: "You ever have an nightmare and then decide to tell somebody about it, and halfway through your explanation you realize you're retarded?" - unknown


Monday, August 17, 2009


I am ALIVE after 2 weeks in the green minivan from hell! it was actually a really cool trip! we even managed to swing by the mall of America on our drive home and IT WAS FREAKING HUGE. like, the biggest mall I've been to before that was the Palisades mall in Nyack. I dunno if you guys have heard of it? well, you ca fit like 3 of the palisades malls into the mall of America. i took TONS of pictures, and we saw all these crazy things in the middle of nowhere!

Unfortunately, my phone broke after the first day, and it WAS BRAND NEW. i was extremely pissed off to say the least, i mean, COME ON! i had that phone for a WEEK, and then IT GETS WET! it was the brand new blackberry curve, and had basically EVERYTHING on it. NOW, i have to wait for the insurance place to mail my new one. focusing on silver lining for a second now, it shows me how dependant the average highschooler is on texting. i was calling the two people who's numbers were on my brother's phone, and they answered like they didn't know how to actually have a conversation over the telephone! so even when i get a phone again, I'm gonna lay off texting for a while and see how that goes...

as Sydney said: parents having blogs is cool, but parents having facebooks is weird.

not too sure i agree on the first one, cause as long as they remember they have a blog, they might try to check up on mine. (You'll know they did if this post disappears) but parents having facebooks IS FREAKING CREEPY! they're constantly commenting on stuff, and checking up on what i write. i love em, but I NEED SPACE! seriously.

Onto new things:

I must start my work for school. i do this every year. i push stuff off till the very last minute and end up pulling n all-nighter on labor-day weekend doing all the stuff i should have been doing all summer. i have to write a monologue, a book-report, and summarize 110 articles from the new England journal of medicine...

I am taking ANOTHER vacation! (this one with my mom) To MIAMI! sweetness. I'm trying to get i touch with some of my old camp friends from there and see if we can hang out together. that would be awesome.

Sports start in exactly 7 days, and i must start training. i have to be able to run 3 1/2 miles by then, and i have to be faster than the person i ran with last year. we ended the season running miles at the same pace, and we were the fastest on the JV team. now there is ONE spot open on varsity, and the fastest JV player will get moved up early. :D

I am trying to learn french! i suck at pronunciation, but I'm learning the words. it's actually quite random, because i was listening to a song, and one verse was in french, and the next day i woke up and i said to myself "I will be able to know what that is if it kills me." SO i bought a french to English dictionary, and started writing vocab words down. i can say a few sentences i french now, count to 50, and name 30 different things in different cases. i am proud of myself because school hasn't even started yet, and my language major is Latin, my language minor is Italian, and French never even crossed my mind.

Guitar lessons start in September and i must practice. i have slacked too much, and my band will be playing gigs this year IF IT KILLS ME. like i said, i was over at a friends house a while back, and we wrote a song. we've got to get the whole band together and practice our butts off for this!

That's about it for now. ill probably post something funny from Miami, but we'll only be there for a few days! :)

song: Tree Hugger - Antsy pants and Kimya Dawson
mood: emotional
inspirational quote: "Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy shit, what a ride!'"
funny quote: "Dude? how easy do you think it is to break into the zoo? i need to see some penguins like, right now." - anonymous


Thursday, August 6, 2009


Ok, the reason i seemingly havent posted in FOREVER is because my family has dragged me on a cross country road trip! and before you think that this is actually a really cool thing, let me describe it in detail:

We spent on average no less than 3 hours in a green minivan every day. we stay in cheap motels and crappy 'family resort' campgrounds. (aka trailer parks) my little brothers are sitting behind me in the back of the car ad are always fighting over some stupid thing or another. my baby sister is sitting next to me in the other bucket seat and when she's not asleep, she's screaming bloody murder. my dad andmy step-mom are in the front seats arguing over the internet connections that are few and far between and blasting weird music that was popular when the 80's were in a bad way.

it sucks


If you want to hear THEIR side of the trip, you can visit THEIR blog (yes i know its creepy for parents to have blogs) at

guarantee you its probably the opposite of how i feel about the whole trip. so until the trip is over, my posting will be short and irregular, but im near mount rushmore now, so ive gotta go!

song: Loose Lips - Kimya Dawson
mood: slightly irritated and tired
inspirational quote: "The sun never sets on a badass" - annonymous
funny quote: "I always manage to enter a convertaion at the wrong time, and the of course, my dirty mind takes over." - annonymous


Monday, July 20, 2009

100th Post! (Among Other Things)

First of all, I have to say WHOOHOO! Ive reached my 100th post. I haven't had alot of time for posting this past week, so let me catch you up.

In welding I have finished my first little sculpture, and although the lighting really sucks in this picture, I have no other pictures, and no way of taking any more for a few days, and i want to know what you think, so let me know! The tree and it's branches are made out of twisted iron, while the gold tips of the branches are bronze and flux. the little structure to the left is made out of stainless steel and has a little hold plasma-cut through as if to give you a view of the tree without being able to reach it. I'm exceptionally proud that i FINALLY managed to weld the branches onto the tree without burning my fingers all the way off. =]

In softball we've played kings bridge and ossning. we beat both of them! =] the kings bridge field was the same one we played on last summer. its a small, sad, but proud lot field next to a highway in the Bronx. the dugouts have tin roofs and have holes where you can push pebbles through and watch them clink down a small hill to the freeway, but it's a homey place. I like it, despite everyone on my team freaking out about it's conditions. I was warming up the pitcher in the bullpen and a wild pitch went over the fence i stood and watched it disappear under car after car as until it fell into a drain. i actually have a photo of one of the dugouts and home plate. It was taken a long time ago, so the dugouts are blue. now they're green.

Ossning was a home game. I was out in left field for most of it. it was very uneventful. since nothing was happening, my coach took me out and put a rookie out to learn the position. I'm moving up into another league next year, and she's going to be filling my spot. i relaxed after that. I lounged on a bucket of balls next to a returning alumni and we talked about random things for the remaining part of the game.

When we got home, i felt like running. I had to get out of my house, so i threw on a black t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, stuck my iPod into my pocket and tied my sneakers on my way out the door. I blasted some rock tune and ran, focusing on keeping my breathing at marathon tempo. After a while I gave up on trying to run around a track and I ran through the highlands neighborhood. It was the time of day between dinner and sunset and there were people everywhere. Old people jogging at a mile an hour, yuppie couples wearing matching tennis outfits walking a toy sized dog, college students running cross country, and groups of kids bouncing a basketball, or tossing around a baseball. it was the time of day where everyone also felt the need to be doing something. I cant even remember how far i ran, but i ran through 17 songs on m iPod before my twitching muscles carried me back up the steps to my house just as the sun started to disappear.

I cooked myself breakfast for dinner and made a strawberry-apricot-banana shake. it was great. i find it funny that i cook better than my cousins who are fully grown and have their own apartments. Dorm life in college will be interesting...

Ive been messing around on my guitar alot, trying to figure out hotel California by the eagles when i heard some new bands on the radio. Note- these all came from different radio stations, and their all VERY different types of music, but from what i heard i like them. have you heard of them, and can you recommend any songs?:

The Darkness
The Coral
All Time Low

Summer is running out for me. I leave for a 2 week vacation with my dad in 2 weeks and I have to complete my summer assignments because when i get back from that, I have 5 days until pre-season starts for field hockey, and then my life is officially over. My mom has been all over me to do my summer schoolwork so it seems like i only have a few hours of ME time left. I have 4 hours in the city with nobody around and no parents on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so i figure ill walk around, get some food, see some sights. hell, Ill ride the subway for 4 hours all over the place if it means i can be alone. I just need some alone time every once in a while. I have to remember to stop in the grand central marketplace, Lilac chocolates makes the best fudge and my little brother is coming home Friday! =D

That's about it for now...

song: silence - Blindside
mood: confused
inspirational quote: "I don't forgive people because I'm weak, i forgive them because i am strong enough to realize people make mistakes, that people change, and that one action shouldn't define a person for their whole life."
funny quote: "I DIDN'T DO IT! Oh, wait, THAT... Yes,I did do THAT."


Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Really, most girls don't like dirt. the stereotypical girl loves pink, flowers, dresses, rainbows, and dolls. and while i hold no particular grudge against any of these things, i am not the stereotypical girl. i purposefully choose the most difficult tasks. I weld. I play electric guitar. I play football. I play catcher in softball. I play goalie in FH. so today, when i come home from my softball game, and I'm caked in about 5 layers of mud, dirt and grass, my friend, being a completely stereotypical girl freaks out and practically throws me into my own bathroom. I LOVE getting all dirty like that. I'm always diving for stuff, and sliding into stuff and launching myself at my brothers, and (stupidly) throwing firecrackers near mud puddles so they throw fountains of muck into the air. don't get me wrong, there is nothing quite like the feeling of getting clean after being dirty, and i detest being dirty for long amounts of time, but in my mind, being dirty shows that you put effort into something, and whether the dirt is a result of failure or success, the fact that you showed enough effort to get that dirty is respectful. and there you have my revelations of dirt.

We got our asses kicked in softball today. we tried, but we just couldn't make it. we shouldn't feel so bad though, because the team we faced is #1 in the league and we were tied for more than half the game, but still. it's disappointing. old friends who graduated last year and played varsity softball came back to help with the summer ball. it's fun to see everyone again. i missed them. its a funny thing, playing on a sports team. I've played softball from little league in 3rd grade to summer travel softball and i know so many people who i never would have known before. i have friends who are in their second year of college who i played tournaments with/against, and had the same coach for little league with. we're a small little community. :)

after i got my braces off last month, i was given a retainer and the usual lecture about how wearing it would prevent blah-blah-blah. honestly i stopped listening after the first 3 seconds. Ive heard the freaking speech before, and my orthodontist could talk forever. like, seriously, i could stop him mid sentence and be like: Hey? y'know? I've been listening to you talk for 10 minutes and i have no idea what you just said. seriously. give it a rest. anyway, i lost the retainer... I've only been wearing it every few days and i put it somewhere last Friday and now i cant find it. this is really not good. i have an appointment Monday... =P

i walked over to a friends house yesterday and we got bored so we grabbed our guitars and wrote a song.its not completely finished yet, but its getting there. when its done ill record it and put it on here so you guys can give us some feedback. its got a sort of hard-rock feel, with a rebellious attitude. fun stuff. then we just drank an entire bottle of champagne and i crashed of her couch while house re-runs played in the background. which is why i didn't post yesterday... <:)

that just about sums up my last couple of days :)

song: Lazy generation - the F-ups
mood: exhausted but happy
inspirational quote: "Life is short, break the rules. forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never for one second regret anything that once made you smile." - anonymous
funny quote: "HIGH SCHOOL: noun - the point in your life where you realize that everything CAN get worse and everyone IS out to get you." - anonymous


Monday, July 13, 2009


in softball, you play outside in the hot sun usually in a sleeveless top with shorts and high socks. the sun will beat down, and by then end of a season, 99% of the time (unless you fake 'n bake on the side) you have the signature 'softball tan' to go with the noticeable softball callouses on the palms of your catching hand where your index, middle and ring fingers meet your hand. this means that you're tan only on your arms (except for the hand you wear a batting glove on), your knees from where your spandex sliding (under shorts) shorts end to where your high socks begin, and your face; unless you're like me, and actively battle these lines by sunbathing outside on a regular basis. so far it has been working up until today. i was laying outside in my front yard in a bathing suit when i realized how tired i was. so, while my mom was out, i plugged in my new sound-proof ipod headphones and cranked up some classic rock while i closed my eyes. 10 seconds later i feel a bug on my back. i bend my arm back to swipe it away, and leaving my hand on my back, i fall asleep. i wake up 4 hours later with my mom screaming my name, and the white imprint of my hand sunburned into my back. it hurts like hell, and to make matters worse, I'm crashing at my friends house. while i was napping on her couch, she took a picture of it. I have no idea how she's planning to extort me with this picture, but chances are that if you see some picture somewhere floating around on the Internet, it might be me.

before i went over to my friend's house, i went for a run today. i was feeling overwhelmed, so i grabbed my house keys and took off. i forgot how peaceful running is, and how much i needed a little peacefulness in my life. i ran my usual short mile route around my neighborhood, but i didn't feel like going home, so i ran clear out to the city limits before turning around and walking back. it felt good to run like that. now, of course, since it's been so long since I've run, my calves are killing me and i whistle when i speak, but so what? it was way worth it. :)

must get some sleep. ive gotta stop staying up until 1 am to post!

song: Divine intervention - Taking Back Sunday
mood: worn down
inspirational quote: "Judge me, and Ill prove you wrong. Tell me what to do, and Ill tell you off. Say I'm not worth it, and watch where i end up. Call em a bitch and Ill show you one. Fuck me over and ill do it to you twice as bad. Call me crazy, but you really have no idea." - anonymous
Funny Quote: "You don't like me and that's ok. there is nothing i can do about it. NEWSFLASHBITCH: I DON'T LIVE TO PLEASE YOU." - anonymous


Saturday, July 11, 2009


Today i spent 7 hours total in a car. to make it more interesting, i only played 60's, 70's and 80's music through the speakers. i think the newest song to be played was 'Talk dirty to me, by Poison' (1987?) i forget. anyway, i was taking this long ride out to visit said little brother. we stopped at a white castle and the cashier chick looked at us like we were nuts, me and my mom, because we ended up ordering a crave case to bring to him at camp. for those of you who are not familiar with the awesomeness of white castle, a crave case is a cardboard box shaped like a suitcase containing 30 cheeseburgers/hamburgers. don't freak out. white castle makes TEENY TINY burgers, so really eating 3 white castle burgers is the equivalent of eating maybe 1 McDonald's burger. we got the case so we could eat a few for lunch, so that he could have lunch, and the rest could be used to trade with bunk mates for other food and goodies. he traded 4 away for the photo shoot of Meghan fox that took up 2 pages in US magazine. boys are morons. we ended up seeing Public Enemies. aside from it being WAYYY LONG, it was a great movie. they did a great job of covering the movie, and all the characters seemed to fit excellently. i got to see a few former bunk mates from a long time ago, and chat with a few old counselors. it was fun visiting the camp because it is probably the last time I'm going to see it unless i get a job working there when I'm in college.

short post for today. nothing much else has changed int eh past 24 hours...

song: paradise by the dashboard light - meatloaf
mood: missing someone
inspirational quote: "It's not about who you've known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side." - anonymous
Funny quote: "(415): I set the bag of Cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the Styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
(510): I hope so" - textsfromlastnight


family togetherness

tomorrow (today, i should say) I'm taking the requisite 3 - 4 1/2 hour drive out to the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania to visit my little brother at sleep away camp. i look forward to it for only 3 reasons:
1) he's allowed to go off campus during visiting day, so we're going to go watch whatever bloody horror movie he wants to see. i love a good horror movie once in a while.
2) there's a warehouse that sells fireworks within walking distance from the entrance to the camp. it IS legal to buy fireworks in Pennsylvania, and i need to restock.
3) I went to this camp in 07, and i couldn't go back subsequent years like my awesome bunk mates. this year we're planning a little reunion, so i finally get to see them all again.

I am being slowly suffocated by my family. its nice to get all the attention once in a while, but when the eldest son is absent, the eldest daughter gets the blame for everything... usually my little bro gets blamed for stuff, but can talk his way out of everything because he's not planning on being a role model anytime soon, and by then I've covered my tracks; but with him out of the picture, i have nothing to hide behind. I'm doing double chores, extra schoolwork, and being 'checked up' on every 3 seconds. i used to think he had it easy, but boy was i wrong.

I do miss him for more than just being a scapegoat. I've gotten away with a shitload of stuff over the years, and ill probably screw up again many more times without him being there to cover me. i miss just hanging out with him. i used to be able to walk into his room, and he'd take one look at my face and ask me what was wrong. I could really use that right now. I'm screwing up minorly, but if someone put together all my minor screw ups, well... id like not to think about that right now... usually i can call up best guy friend, (bassist) and like, 20 minutes later we'd be sitting on the floor of his living room drinking sodas and giving each other life advice, but he's away at camp. :(

i detached myself from my mom long enough to go to a movie with this guy. he asked me out, and i couldn't think of a reason why not, so i said sure. i didn't know what would happen, but i just wasn't feeling it. he was really sweet and shy, but it felt wrong, like he was a relative or something. very weird... first guy to go to a movie with alone since bass-playing friend...

Anyway, I probably should get some sleep since i have to wake up at some hellish hour to go see my bro and its already after midnight!

song: I hate myself for loving you - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
mood: excited
inspirational quote: "There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything. but it's not giving up. It's realizing that you just don't need certain people and their crap!" -anonymous
funny quote: "You did WHAT with WHO for HOW MANY skittles?" - CC 07


Friday, July 10, 2009


I remember being 5. everything was taller than me, everybody talked better than me, and everywhere looked different. i remember little things like chasing the ice cream truck down the street because he wouldn't stop at our corner. I remember jumping with both feet into every puddle after it rained, no matter how small. I remember creeping out onto the roof above our porch, where you could face the end of the street and watch the sky catch fire as the sun rose, and I remember laying on the hammock on a summer day, perfectly content with the world, tilting my head up so it was warm in the sun. Today i caught the express train the comes before my usual train. i couldn't see any harm in going earlier, so i took it. when i made it through the crowd of early commuters running through grand central terminal, and through the network of subway trains, i found that i had a few minutes before i had to be anywhere; so i sat down on the steps of a building, took my iPod headphones out of my ear, and relaxed. i watched people rushing by me, some disappearing into the building i rested on, so running into traffic to hail taxis, some successfully reading newspapers while walking and talking on the phone. and then i took my eyes off the spinning world and looked to the sky to see the sun rising above the skyscrapers, throwing bright orange and red flames off their glass windows; and i thought about how peaceful it felt for a few minutes. and then i returned to the world, got up, threw my empty coffee cup away and resumed walking.

i got my hair done! it was way overdue. the last time i got my hair professionally cut was LAST June!!! after my classes, i walked down 56Th street to 5Th avenue, and in a black, nondescript building there is an AMAZING hair salon. anything you can think of, they do it. of course, today of all days, one of their elevators was being used by one of the lofts, so i was waiting in the lobby with about 10 other people waiting for it to return, but it could have been worse. i could have had to take the stairs to the 11Th floor. it was a little bit of heaven having my hair washed and cut and dried perfectly while drinking a virgin sea breeze. it felt great being able to let my hair down and have it not in my face at all times. i grew my layers and bangs way out, and they were constantly in my eyes. I NEED to learn how to dry my hair the Way they did it, because it looks fantastic, and it only looks this god for a day until i wash it.

Remember back in kindergarten where everything was simple?how you'd just walk up to somebody and ask them to be their friend, and they'd just say yes? i wish things were that simple now. my friends are starting to concern me. i wasn't here for whatever happened, but now its like our group is split down the middle over something. it better be important (i intend to find out) because we've managed to stick together all of freshman year, and if anything it's made us closer, and we haven't managed to survive 2 1/2 weeks of summer.

I need a break from everything. I've decided to just not charge my phone for a little while. to just live out the rest of this week however I want, not however ANYONE ELSE wants...

song: What do all the people know - The Monroes
mood: Tired and happy
inspirational quote: '“What are you doing?” I asked the girl in the glass, but she just stood there, waiting for the same answer that would never come.' - Fire and Ice, by Bennett Pivnick
funny quote: "(303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight." - textsfromlastnight


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Late Night Blues

Ever had a tune stuck in your head that you really didn't mind? something that was familiar and comforting as opposed to annoying repetitive songs that normally get stuck in your head? well that's how i feel now. I have a slow blues rock playing through my head at 2 miles an hour, and i am perfectly fine with that. its like someone slowed to tempo of a Stevie ray Vaughn album, and its reflexive, like running, or drawing. Ive been strumming the tune in my head on my acoustic guitar for the last hour, and its about midnight. i suppose i should really go to sleep, but i cant. tomorrow i have to be up at 6:30 am, to catch a train to grand central station, NYC. I am fully aware of this fact, but i cannot fall asleep. It's a problem in the summer...

Today was the perfect day. i slept in, eventually woke to the occasional cloud blocking the sun from streaming onto my face. lazed around the house all day in a tank top and sweatpants. did my chores, barbecued lunch, and watched clouds drift across the sky until about one. then i went to sports authority and bought a new field hockey stick to replace my 30-year-old wooden stick. its about time, i just never felt up to replacing the thing. it had character. you could feel where I'd worn the handle away, exactly where my mother had worn the handle away. the exact picture of my two hands will forever be imprinted upon the wooden handle where the medical-tape grip was worn through. it was heavier than the other sticks, now made of fiberglass, and oh-so-breakable, and hit harder. I'm going to miss it, but it was time. i hate fitting in like that. everyone used to line up their sticks in the locker room and the only stick that stood out was mine because it was wood while the others were not. so many people had the same stick, that they often took the wrong one home from practice only to discover the next day that it wasn't theirs. i hate that kind of conformity. I'm going to change my new stick. perhaps it isn't much that a little spray paint cant fix. we'll see. ill upload pictures when i get around to doing something about it...

that is the end of my short deep thought of today, as i return to my guitar and the sweet lonely sound of my late night blues...

song: Pride and Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughn
mood: relaxed
inspirational quote: "Everyone sees who i appear to be, but only a few know the real me. You can only see what i choose to show, there's so much more you just don't know." - anonymous
funny quote: "WENCH - noun; a medieval pirate slut." - anonymous


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Is It July Already?

I am so ready for the heat to end. for the last month we've had on and off rain and sun, and this week, the weather finally decided to act like its summer... just in time to almost give then entire team heatstroke. we had a game today for summer softball and we kicked serious ass! but it was WAY too hot out! playing catcher is normally a somewhat relaxing position because lets face it, I'm just playing catch with the pitcher! the short stop has to direct the infield, the center fielder has to direct the outfield, but i just get to play catch. its fun unless, like today you get a day when the sun shows its fury, and beats down onto the dusty diamond. its living hell playing catcher while under 10 pounds of gear squatting in the dust behind home plate. at any given breeze, you have to squint against swirling clouds of sand while you can feel beads of perspiration slide over your cheekbones. it is an excruciatingly horrible experience on a hot dry July day. on the bright side, some old friends came to the game, and it was great to see them because they're in college, and can only come back home on big holidays like winter break and summer vacation. the last time i saw them was over winter break when they came to Monday night softball practices in the gym, and worked us through our month long training.

My 'garage band' finally found a drummer so we can actually be a full band now! we have me on rhythm guitar, a friend on lead guitar, another friend singing (they wish to remain nameless), my old bassist friend, and this other guy we found for drums. we managed to cover a bunch of songs from several different genres of music as well as write a couple songs as well. our covered set list goes as follows: Blackbird - the Beatles; Crushcrushcrush - Paramore; Boulevard of broken dreams - Green Day; Wasted - LP; paradise city - Guns 'n roses; Anthem part 2 - Blink 182; and Outta my way - Damone. I know you haven't heard much about bassist-guy in a while, but we're still friends, and getting closer. i was over at his house for an alleged pizza/popcorn/action movie marathon night and his parents were away. technically we weren't supposed to be at the house, but we didn't really care. then his sister showed up and gave us a choice: go up to his room to watch movies, or stick around for the party she was going to throw. i suppose it was nice of her to offer us a choice in the first place considering she is older, but we chose to stay upstairs until people actually showed up and then we went downstairs. I don't remember much after that. the last thing i remember clearly was that we were the championship beer-pong team. i got dropped off at my house by the designated driver at around 1 in the morning. all in all, it was fun. =)

the fourth of July this year was just as awesome as other years. more in some ways than others. i took the train down to NYC with a couple of friends and we caught the subway to battery park for the free Conor oberst concert! it was great! then we watched fireworks on the Hudson from the roof of a random apartment building. it was amazing! then, as usual i set off a bunch of smaller fireworks! =)

in other news: i started taking classes at the art students league of new york! two days a week i will be taking the train downtown to take welding and metal-sculpting classes! =D it is SO cool! i love the feel of metalworking. the feeling that even though i am melting steel at 6000 degrees right in front of my face, i cant feel the heat coming off of it. from behind the green tinted welder's mask, all sound and temperature get blocked. you watch as silently the metal glows so brightly it turns white and then watch it cool into the shape you created. its beautiful. finally my parents trust me enough to let me take the train and subways by myself, and it feels great, being able to walk through grand central like: 'yeah. i know exactly where I'm going. try and stop me'

hmm... have to change something about my post format. its getting kind of old...

song: Outta my way - Damone
mood: content
inspirational quote: "I guess you are right. I am afraid. I am afraid to put my guard down. I am afraid that if you know all i am, you won't feel the same. And I am afraid that once my barrier is defeated, and i am comfortable, that you'll walk away." - anonymous
funny quote: "Everything happens for a reason... except clowns... i mean, seriously. WTF?" - anonymous


Friday, July 3, 2009


holy crap! I HAVENT POSTED IN FOREVER!!!! thank you, all of you who decided to put up with this bullshit from me, and told me to keep posting! you are awesome! i am a total jackass because i have absolutely no real excuse for not blogging in forever. (please forgive my language here, but im kinda pissed at myself) in other news: ITS SUMMER! im out of school, and am NO LONGER A FRESHMAN!! WHOOHOO! sophomore year, here i come! school sports were ok, softball season was fun. i think we came in first in our league. =D summer ball started up last week, and i have a game later today! my report card is SUPPOSED to be coming today, and frankly im a little scared. i dont know exactly what was going through my mind when i checked the little box on my transcriipt that said i would stay with the language latin throughout highschool, but i regret it. i dont think i did too well on that test... regents test scores are coming back, and ive been freaking ou about my biology grade. i want to do good so i can take AP bio without worrying. the fourth of july is tomorrow, and i have an ENTIRE bag of fireworks in he basement all ready for some friends of mine to come over and light! =) so please forgive me, and this summer with all my free time, i will be posting more. <=)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

post-midterm syndrome

This is the name my friends and i came up with for the long, seemingly never-ending weeks that follow the midterms. it feels like the weeks are dragging now, and not flying like they were for the rest of the year. Ive been REALLY, FREAKISHLY bad about blogging, and i fear some of you have given up on me! <=[ I'm VERY sorry about that, and i will set about earning you guys back. =] In other news, study hall is m savior. I have a problem with leaving things to the last minute, on purpose, or by accident, and my wonderful 2nd period study hall helps me correct anything due later in the day. its the perfect time to cram for a test, or finish biology homework, or translate Latin. Now that the 3rd quarter of the year is over, I'm not going to rely on my safety net of a study hall as much anymore. I'm setting a goal to do everything I'm assigned at home. I may turn out like a friend of mine who spends at least 2 hours on her homework everyday,but if it kills me, my grades HAVE to DRASTICALLY improve. I'm aiming for National honor society, and my current grades from last quarter are simply NOT going to cut it. =] update on the band? we're not going anywhere anytime soon. the second we get our butts in gear, i will let you guys know, but we're at a kind of standstill. <=/ we've spent more time GOING to concerts together than actually playing any covers, let along anything original. it also doesn't help that our bassist lives half an hour away, and our drummer is either invisible, or non-existent. SPORTS START MONDAY. finally i can emerge from my winter shell. winter, as i've said, is generally my 'off season' i don't play on a winter sports teams, and i generally recede into the background. in the spring, I re-establish communication with the rest of earth, and train for sports, throw myself into my studies to keep my grades up for sports, and hang out with my friends more. everything good usually happens around now, so i hope to be blogging MUCH more. spring gives me this energy. I cant really describe it. its electric. My absolute favorite thing in spring is when it's twilight, and you can feel that its going to POUR because the air has that special smell? I love running in the rain. I could be outside FOREVER when its raining like that in spring. currently crushing my pre-spring excitement is (hopefully) the remains of the last snowstorm of the year, still lingering, and casting a dark shadow over the softball diamond. I do promise to try to blog more often!!! <=]

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Slow Week

This was a pretty slow week for me. I just haven't been very good about posting. i try to remember to post! I read people's blogs almost every day, but i hardly every comment or post. <=] This week was my February break, and i was practically living on what i like to call 'college time' for the first couple of days. I was up until like 3am on facebook fb chatting with all my friends who are in college. it was fun catching up with them 'cause our schedules are soo different now. Sports start up in 16 days, and i cant wait!!!! that means that there are only two more softball 'open gym practices' before the real season starts. its going to be really, really weird this year because a whole bunch of people are deciding that they dont want to play softball for our HS. Its like, ive been playing on the same team as these people since 3rd grade, and now they're not going to be there. its going to take ALOT of getting used to. Its also a problem because two of the people who aren't playing were our two strongest pitchers, so our pitcher-choices boil down to a couple of people who can pitch 'alright' for a couple of innings, and this one girl who really hates me; this is going to be interesting... in other news, my birthday is coming up. =] im really excited for that. And the time for filling out the enormous stack of papers for working permits has arrived. this year i can actually work for more than minimum wage! lol. that's about it. =]

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Ok, midterms are over, cramming is done, and i am officially back! =] I kno it's been WAYY too long, and i really apologize for that, but the tests and work were going out of control, and then i was sick for a while, and it totally knocked me out of rhythm. Im back in a new and improved state. =] im putting more effort into my music studies, im actually writing a few things on the piano since i hurt my hand for guitar. i spent so long playing my guitar that my fingers actually started to bleed, so i'll be out of commission on that for a few days. ive been doing all my homework, and this semester i have not one but TWO study halls replacing the pointless computers class and jewelry, which im actually sad to see go. i didnt actually finish my last project there though, so i can come back whenever i want and work on it. =] technically the i wasnt supposed to be using some of the techniques i used on it in jewelry 1 anyway. it was more of a jewelry 3 level project, but its great all the same. In my latin class, since my teacher never really spends time teaching us things (she usually just gives us a confusing packet and tells us to go work) my friend has been teaching me japanese. I really suck at it right now, but give me a week... lol. latin is actually making more sense the longer i stay in that class, despite the fact that the teacher never actually teaches. during our open gym softball practice a couple of my crazy junior friends were having conversations in spanish, and i found that i could actually converse in my dead language. our short broken sentences were somewhat interchangeable between the two languages anyway. i think we were talking about how badly we were throwing since it was near the end of a 3 hour grueling practice. iam defessus, et non possum bene iacere. its crappy, but at least im getting somewhere. spring sports start in exactly 25 days!!! im counting them down. winter is my off season technically, despite my indoor clinics and such. I never play a team sport in winter, and focus more on my studies and midterms, and now that the weather is amazing, and the snow is gone, and the wind is kicking up spring is fighting for the right to have our first practice outdoors. =] i need an outlet for my energy. sports usually fills it, but during the off-season: no sports. lol our band hasn't had another practice yet, but we're working on it. we've managed to put up with each other for long enough now to try and get down to business and start really playing with each other. hmm. what else is new? my birthday is coming up =] i cant wait. its going to be an awesome party!!! =D i think that's about it. im going to relax tomorrow, do all my hw during study hall, ace a test, and go chill with a bunch of friends at the opening night of friday the 13th. =] HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!!! =]

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


OK!!! I know, I've been gone for a really long time, but it's been a hell of a week and a half. ok, last week sucked. it was basically all midterm review crap, and i got bored of it all, so i decided to make a facebook!!! yay! =] now today, i told my dad about it to avoid a repeat of the meltdown which occurred when my parents found out about my blog. So now i have to watch what i say online cause if i mention things i don't want them knowing, they'll pull the guilt trip on me, and i have this huge soft-spot for that. <=] on Saturday, our newly formed band, Th!rD DeMeNt!oN had it's first official practice. The singer and the lead guitarist came over to my house along with another friend who will be designing our label, and we rocked out from 4, to about 730 when we stopped to grab a piece of pizza on our way out the door to a Battle Of The Bands concert at our county center. we missed the first band entirely, but i was told that we didn't miss much. the second band was Okay-ish. Their lyrics and stage presentation left something to be desired, but the music was alright. the third and fourth bands sucked completely. but the fifth band was ok. The singer was really cute, and the lead guitarist, A completely freaked out and dragged us from the way back of the floor back to the front for their set list. The sixth band was so awful that we decided to go all the way to the back of the center and sit against one of he columns. we were sitting there when the cute singer guy from the fifth band, faded aces was standing like 20 feet away, and A dared me to go talk to him. I said something along the lines of 'you're on', and managed to get out about 2 sentences of crap about his band before asking if i could take a picture for proof. I fiddled with my camera phone for 5 minutes before realizing that it didn't HAVE a flash, so i apologized for making him wait and went back to our pillar, where we all cracked up. the seventh band was AMAZING!!!!! their name is Ever Since, and I swear to you, they are the real deal. its like a mix of the Killers, Paramore, Lifehouse, Blink-182, and a splash of Secondhand Serenade and All American Rejects. I bought their CD, and got all four of them to sign it. =] i've actually been walking around school listening to a WALKMAN just so i can hear their music. anyway, the eighth band was a non-vocal metal band from our school, and they were really good, but they 'experienced some technical difficulties' about halfway through their set list. by the last band, everyone prety much had their minds made up, and Ever Since ended up winning while band number 2 took 2nd. Their name was Noise in the Attic. well, Monday started crazy psycho midterm week, and yesterday i took my english and geometry midterm before getting kicked out of the building at 11. then i was dragged into the city by my mom. i thought she was just dragging me down broadway to run yet another errand for her incapacitated sister, but it turned out we were going for a visit to her old office building. I hadn't seen many of those people in years, and it was actually alot of fun. =] thank god it snowed today, because otherwise i would have been forced to take both a Global history midterm AND a biology midterm in the same day, and my head would have exploded. XP well, today i was talking to a whole bunch of my crazy friends. it was the kind of snowday where you catch up with everybody. =] I hope you all can forgive me, and I PROMISE to start posting more regularly as soon as testing week is over. <=]

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Long Weekend

Ahh, Friday was great, Saturday was long, and Sunday is, well, Sunday. A friend of mine is trying to start a band. She had it all figured out, and asked me to play guitar in it. I'm really excited for this, and There's going to be five of us, Me on rhythm guitar, My brother on drums, Leo, my bass-playing friend, her singing lead, and another friend on lead guitar. =] we're calling it 3rD DeMeNtIoN, and hopefully we can get our act together and send a demo CD around so we might have some chance of getting a gig. =] I'm really excited this weekend, despite how every day feels like Sunday. Ive managed to: Go to a concert and re-animate several dead friendships, do all my homework, and completely rock out on my guitar at band practice. =] see ya!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ugh... Mondays...

I thought Mondays always sucked, but now it's official. Mondays are the WORST day o the week. I'm kind of exaggerating here, but my arms feel like they're going to fall off, and I feel like whining just a little bit. XD I'm dead tired, and I got a whole bunch of stuff dumped on me at the same time. <=[ I stayed up late on Sunday so I could write 2 essays, one for English and one for Global, and I found out last minute that the global essay wasn't due until Friday. Then, I went and didn't do my science homework 'cause I spent so much time writing the two essays. Then I went home, and went pretty much straight to field hockey, where I ran more than I had in pre-season from 3:30 to 5:00. My mom was late for picking me up, so I froze my butt off outside for about 20 minutes. Then At 7:00, I had to be at softball practice until 9:45. When I finally got home I took one look at my backpack, and thought 'fuck it. There is no way in hell that I'd even think about doing homework'. I passed out, and woke up way to early. Ok, i think I'm done venting now. <=] In other news: The 'date' with my bassist friend was a total dud if it was supposed to be romantic in any way, but I had fun. It was nice to get out of the house every once in a while. He's really fun to hang out with. We went to see Yes Man, and then, following our usual 'after-movie thing', got ice-cream. (which in retrospect probably wasn't the smartest idea since it was freezing outside) and walked around for like a half-hour. then we went back to my House and watched ANOTHER movie, plus my annoying little brother showed up. I think it was a quarter to one when we drove him home. It was fun, but in a non-romantic kind of way. =]
right now I'm stuck in computers class wondering with the heck I'm going to do when this course ends at the end of the semester and I want to blog. <=[ this is where I get most of my post-writing done during the weekdays, and the course ends in like 2 weeks when midterms start. Speaking of midterms, I'm getting more and more nervous. it's like a regents exam in the middle of the year, and represents like, an eighth of my entire final grade! =O Oh well. I've still got 2 weeks. gotta go, the bell's ringing! <=]

Friday, January 9, 2009

Snow Delays and Three Day Weekends

Ok it's been a fairly odd week. On Tuesday there was this hail/rain storm, and all the rain and hail kinda froze together into one big solid ice coating all over EVERYTHING, so the high school sent home an automated phone message notifying us of the two-hour-delay quite loudly at 5:30 in the morning. =P And it only went uphill from there when my phone started ringing off the hook as my friend's family's also received the obnoxiously-loud message. Eventually I fell back into a fitful nap for about twenty minutes before the middle school called with yet another automated phone message at around 6:30, and woke everyone AGAIN. When my clock went off at 8:00, I was seriously thinking how my day could have possibly gotten off to a worse start if I had just gotten up at 5:55 like I always do and ignored the presence of the phone call, 'cause I was just as tired as if I stayed up until four in the morning. There's a long story about that, actually: I was home sick one day, and our cable was out, so I was making do with the normal crap they have on the primitive 60 channels everyone gets. And I don't know if you've noticed this before, but there's absolutely NOTHING even REMOTELY interesting on daytime television between 8:00 and 3:00. So i was surfing channels and I came to ABC family, and Gilmore girls was on. I kind of blew off ever seeing that show 'cause I was too stupid to actually give it a chance before I judged it, and I found that I thought it was the funniest non-cartoon show available on TV, and got completely hooked on it. Well, for Christmas, I got a season's collection of it, and I started watching it on the last Friday of the break, and it's like, 24 hours of TV over 6 disks. SO i was watching it, and the eldest of my younger brothers comes into my room playing some stupid bloody war video game on his Nintendo DS, and he's like 'what are you watching?', so I explain it to him, and ten minutes later, we're both sitting on my bed, and sharing a HUGE bowl of popcorn, and watching 18 solid hours out of the 24 before crashing at like 4 am, and waking up at 8:00 the next day. Ok, long story finally over now. So i get to school, and I find out that they're actually making us attend all nine of our classes that day, but since school started at 9:45, and still has to be over by 2:30, each class (excluding lunch) was exactly 27 minutes to make THIS long story short, nobody got any work done a all, all day. Best day ever! XD Wednesday was completely normal; same crap, different day, and everyone found out that superintendent's conference day was moved to this Friday, so suddenly Thursday became Friday ON TOP of Friday being Friday, and all the teachers were pissing and moaning all day about how they 'not only have to be stuck inside ALL day while they could be doing other things 9LIKE WHAT?!?!) AND apparently they were not notified about the 2 hour delay, so they showed up to the building 2 hours too early, and found it locked, and freezing'. I'm completely overloaded with work right, and the only reason I have the time to type out this extremely LONG post is because currently it's about 3:30 in the morning, and I have just completed a second Gilmore girls marathon. XD I know, I have no life, but what are you gonna do, right? Actually, I'm working on re-building my currently non-existing life by inviting another chronically life-less friend of mine to go see a movie with me. My best friend is completely freaking out because this person is someone I dated for a while back (some of you might remember him: the bassist for my band? Maybe not? whatever) and he's been grounded to the point of practically being chained to the house for the past several months, and I finally convinced his parents to let him out for one movie with me. XD so, wish me luck tomorrow (technically later today)!!! =]

Monday, January 5, 2009

SORRY! <=]

Hey! Sorry for taking so long to actually post! I've been busy with a whole ton of projects and vacation crap and other stuff. The vacation is officially over, and now Im back to walking around the same dreary building again. Im looking forward to Friday though, superintendent's conference day has been rescheduled and schools are closed! =] today it's supposed to snow a couple of inches, and then freeze, so if there's a delay tomorrow, I can finally sleep late! Since I don't play a winter sport, I decided to do a Monday softball clinic and Monday indoor field hockey until preseason begins for spring sports. That was a big mistake. We ran like crazy in field hockey yesterday, and then I screwed up my back playing 3 hours of softball. =P oh well, hopefully there's a delay at least tomorrow so I can relax a little! bye! =]