tomorrow (today, i should say) I'm taking the requisite 3 - 4 1/2 hour drive out to the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania to visit my little brother at sleep away camp. i look forward to it for only 3 reasons:
1) he's allowed to go off campus during visiting day, so we're going to go watch whatever bloody horror movie he wants to see. i love a good horror movie once in a while.
2) there's a warehouse that sells fireworks within walking distance from the entrance to the camp. it IS legal to buy fireworks in Pennsylvania, and i need to restock.
3) I went to this camp in 07, and i couldn't go back subsequent years like my awesome bunk mates. this year we're planning a little reunion, so i finally get to see them all again.
I am being slowly suffocated by my family. its nice to get all the attention once in a while, but when the eldest son is absent, the eldest daughter gets the blame for everything... usually my little bro gets blamed for stuff, but can talk his way out of everything because he's not planning on being a role model anytime soon, and by then I've covered my tracks; but with him out of the picture, i have nothing to hide behind. I'm doing double chores, extra schoolwork, and being 'checked up' on every 3 seconds. i used to think he had it easy, but boy was i wrong.
I do miss him for more than just being a scapegoat. I've gotten away with a shitload of stuff over the years, and ill probably screw up again many more times without him being there to cover me. i miss just hanging out with him. i used to be able to walk into his room, and he'd take one look at my face and ask me what was wrong. I could really use that right now. I'm screwing up minorly, but if someone put together all my minor screw ups, well... id like not to think about that right now... usually i can call up best guy friend, (bassist) and like, 20 minutes later we'd be sitting on the floor of his living room drinking sodas and giving each other life advice, but he's away at camp. :(
i detached myself from my mom long enough to go to a movie with this guy. he asked me out, and i couldn't think of a reason why not, so i said sure. i didn't know what would happen, but i just wasn't feeling it. he was really sweet and shy, but it felt wrong, like he was a relative or something. very weird... first guy to go to a movie with alone since bass-playing friend...
Anyway, I probably should get some sleep since i have to wake up at some hellish hour to go see my bro and its already after midnight!
Current:
song: I hate myself for loving you - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
mood: excited
inspirational quote: "There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything. but it's not giving up. It's realizing that you just don't need certain people and their crap!" -anonymous
funny quote: "You did WHAT with WHO for HOW MANY skittles?" - CC 07
pce-love-Liv
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